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Just for Fun

Here are some jokes about being old. Normally, I wouldn’t even suggest you read them because you don’t want to “brainwash” yourself into believing that certain things are inevitable as you age.  Trust me; in most cases, they’re not. But, if you can keep this in mind, you might get a laugh out of some of these jokes.

Middle age is when you go to the doctor and you realize you know have to pay someone to look at you naked.

The good news about middle age is that the glass is still half-full… of course, the bad news is that it won’t be long before your teeth are floating in it.

You know you are getting old when you go for a mammogram and you realize it is the only time someone will ask you to appear topless in film.

Middle age is when you bounce, but you don’t bounce back.

Middle age brings the wisdom that life throws you curves… and that you’re now sitting on your biggest ones.

Wrinkled was not one of the things I wanted to be when I grew up.

The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

Lying about my age is easier, now that I often forget what it is.

I don’t know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.

I don’t do drugs. At my age I get the same effect just standing up fast.

Games for When We Are Older

  • Sag, You’re It
  • Pin the Toupee on the Bald Guy
  • 20 Questions Shouted into Your Good Ear
  • Kick the Bucket
  • Red Rover, Red Rover, the Nurse Says Bend Over
  • Simon Says Something Incoherent
  • Hide and Go Pee
  • Spin the Bottle of Mylanta
  • Musical Recliners

Perks Of Being Over The Hill

  • There is nothing left anymore to learn the hard way.
  • Things that you buy now won’t wear out.
  • Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.
  • You no longer think of the speed limit as a challenge.
  • Your investment in health insurance is finally paying off.
  • You can quit trying to hold in your stomach no matter who walks into the room.
  • Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can’t remember them anyway.
  • You can sing along with elevator music.
  • Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the guy on the television.
  • Your eyes won’t get too much worse.
  • Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
  • People call you at 9 p.m. and ask, “Did I wake you???? “
  • You can get into a heated argument about pension plans.
  • You can eat dinner at 4:00 in the afternoon.
  • In a hostage situation you are the most likely to be released first.
  • No one expects you to run — anywhere.
  • You are no longer viewed as a hypochondriac.

If you want even more jokes about being old, go to
http://www.c-boom.com/humor2.htm

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